E-mail

Definitely witnessed one of my favourite e-mails today. It read:

Hello Folks,

Had to move a carrier bag on the bottom shelf of the fridge to make room for the milk. Unfortunately the contents ( 3 pieces of fruit ) had been there some time as indicated by their green furry jackets that were wearing to keep them selves warm in the cool climate they were living in. Having taken them by surprise so early in the morning they partially emptied their bodily fluids all over the bottom of the fridge which I kindly cleaned up for them after finding them an alternative home in the bucket.

To prevent further cruelty to food stuffs could any body using the fridge make an effort to remove anything they leave on Fridays.

 

Jim

 

p.s. who owns the green thermos flask in the fridge. It’s been there for some time and I don’t have any biohazard stickers.

One More Go Around

I work with a bunch of tea drinkers. It’s alright for them. They let the dunked bag do the work. Some even go back to their desks with the bag still in the mug. Surrounded by tea makers, my over-stirring is heavily emphasised.

As their bag silently floats in the company mug, they glance once they hear the spoon smacking the rim, passed the unspoken quantified spoon rotations.

There is no way around it. You have to stir coffee. Just because it says instant on the jar, there’s still work required on your behalf. Much like the people who take the bagged mug back to their desk, I too like to get the most out.  I can’t see the remaining coffee particles, nor can I feel them with the end of the spoon. Only way I can be sure is to over-stir.

Give Me Your Rusty Hand

I really like my car, and my computer is pretty handy. Thanks technology!

To love ‘things’, I really can’t do.

Say hi (I still call them, Say hi to your mom) makes robot love sound like love, and I think I believe it.

Her kisses are metallic and her touch is firm but cold.
And I don’t thinks she sleeps at night, but plugs into the wall.
And we have a great relationship,
based on things that can’t be said.
And she has a great relationship with our television set.